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Living My Best life

Wednesday




"She be trapping, she had to make it happen for her life"
-CHANCE

Some days when I wake up I feel like I'm living in a dream. It's like I'm here some days and some days I'm not. Then I realize, I'm chasing my dreams to have my reality!

One day Bae and I were on FaceTime, per usual, our daily routine. Talking laughing, playing. We usually FaceTime hours at a time.
We talk about any and everything she wants to talk about. We sing, dance, crack jokes, and we even do her homework, study her sight words and even have dinner together {lol}
Extra right? idc! 

The true test of my journey is even in the midst of our over the phone good times she still gets sad & no longer wants to be in Michigan.

[Sometimes I wonder if the calls are actually helping or triggering]
But not talking to her is out the question.

So for the past few days she's been getting very sad. Asking questions like,

“When you coming to get me”
"Why I gotta be in Michigan & you in Georgia?"


I told her "I’ll be there soon baby."
Apparently my soon wasn't soon enough because now her face is forming into her "crying face," and now the tears are flooding.

"Why can’t I come there mommy I miss you so much. I'm so alone"
"Bae I miss you too & you are definitely not alone!"
So by now the tears are like a fountain
I had to inform her regardless of anything that she has people who love her and that are there for her!

“I am alone! I’m alone if I don’t have you! I wanna go with you!"
I bet you guys can guess who started crying then!
So by now I’m doing the “look up method” that helps us stop crying when we don’t want to cry lmbo! But shit, that didn’t help! So by now I’m choking on my words but still trying not to cry! 
If that didn't push me even harder I don't know what did!
If it is one thing I want it is for her to be strong in my absence. 
I'm as strong as I can be but she knows that this is for the best life.

So to cheer her up I give her the good news on Rock N Ry (www.rocknry.com)
I told her "baby we have a website now, where mommy shares parts of our lives, a segment for your vlogs as well as shirts where little girls can match their mommies."
 The excitement on her face was priceless. Riley is a true character and performer. And her ipad is already full of videos so when I told her she'll finally be making her videos, she immediately paused me,
"hold on let me go to videos and pick one"
🤣
Her vlogs have always been a plan & now she'll be able to follow through.
She said "mama I'm so happy & proud of you."
Those words are the words I work for!
She knows any and everything I do will be for her. 
I turned all my "Ls" in to lessons
We never lose we always learn!

"Dreams pulling up, I'm like skrrrt"
-Cardi B.

until next time!

2 comments:

  1. If that ain't Motivation from both point of views Idk what is. She is going to be just fine it will all pay off at the end #Faith

    ReplyDelete
  2. I am so proud of you and so excited to see both you and Rileys work. She is a very special kid and we love you guys! An added bonus is US her bonus family...so she never has to feel alone!😘

    ReplyDelete

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